The economy is crumbling almost faster than LiLo's dental hygiene situation and so it's a perfect time for the Lindeth Howe Country House Hotel in England to squirt out a block of sugar and gross decadence that costs about as much as 4,500 boxes of Entenmann's Devil's Food Cake. The chocolate pudding, that can double as one of Oprah's solid gold bowel movements, has broken the dumbest record ever thanks to the crap it's made of which includes gold, champagne caviar, a two-carat diamond, champagne jelly, dark chocolate, a light biscuit joconde, edible gold leaf, Donald Trump's dandruff flakes, the ovaries of a red panda bear and the vagina of a chocolate unicorn. You can get all of this for just $35,000! Yes, $35,000 and it doesn't come with a salad tossing from a mermaid, a platinum vial of ASkars' frozen sperm and a diamond-embedded dunce cap with the words "I JUST ATE YOUR SALARY" on it. I know, it's the perfect hat to wear to the Occupy Wall Street protests.
But the best part is how busted this bitch looks. That is only ugly dessert and this is coming from a ho who regularly eats old pie and vanilla ice cream soup (and that shit is really ugly). This mess looks like something your 6-year-old would make you for Mother's Day using wooden blocks, gold tissue paper and shellacked Red Hots. It's the ugliest FUCK YOU to the poor ever and Fishsticks Paltrow will take three!
If you've got $35,000 you don't care about and really want to look like a 24 karat cunt, you know where to go! I'll be the one outside waiting to grab you while screaming, "Throw it up, bitch! Throw it up! I can pay my rent with your vomit!"
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