Sunday, March 15, 2009

Batter up

Baseball, what can I say, it will always hold a special place in my mind as deeply erotic, why you ask?
As a freshman in High school I played all sorts of different sports and enjoyed them all, with the exception of baseball, the reason being, I couldn't hit worth shit.

That was until one afternoon when forced by the Phys ED coach to play and yet again being struck out, that this hunky curly haired upper class man, who played on the schools Baseball team, pulled me aside and offered to give me some pointers.

We met after school and he took me down to the batters box, turned the machine on and of course, I started swinging and as usual missing most of them.

At first his advice was all verbal and tho I tried like hell to follow his instructions, my stance still wasn't what it should be and I was hyper-extending my swings.

After about 15 minutes of this, he moved in behind me and said those infamous words:"Let me show you" with that he put his arms around me, put his hands on mine, eased his body right up against mine and started "helping" me swing.

I don't know what was more erotic for me, the heat of his body next to mine or his deep, soft voice breathing encouragement into my ear, all I know is, he could have fucked me right there and then.


Saturday, March 14, 2009

Yup, a recipe for making cum

1 cup water

2 tablespoons cornstarch

1 raw egg white

1 tablespoon plain yogurt

pinch of salt

Dissolve cornstarch in ¼ cup of water and set aside. Bring the remaining water and a pinch of salt to a simmer in a small saucepan, then stir the cornstarch to redissolve it and stir it in. Simmer and stir the mixture for about two minutes, it will be very thick. Cool the mixture thoroughly. If you don't let it cool the egg will get cooked. If you are impatient, set the pan in a bowl of ice and stir to speed the cooling. When cool, stir in the egg white and yogurt. Mix thoroughly with a wire whisk until smooth. If you want a little more flavor you can add ¼ teaspoon of vanilla extract and some Equal or Splenda for sweetness when you add the egg.

If you don't have a toy to use with this, you can get a squirt bottle (such as is used for ketchup) in supermarkets or kitchen stores. Fill the bottle and put it in the microwave for about fifteen seconds to make it just warm.



Dawg eat Dawg

Out of everything in this PIC, the lips took the longest to get exactly the way I wanted them.
Kind'a happy with the way they came out.


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Todays funny (and oddly erotic)

I would not have been able too do this skit without laughing my ass off.
O, too have been a fly on the wall when they rolled this skit out to the actors.


Lets break some law's

This PIC, tho simple in it's execution, did have some thought behind it.
I think I covered many of my own favorite fetishes with this one:
A. Muscles
B. Hairy
C. Sweaty
D. Bondage
E. Jockstraps
F. Nipple tweaking
Add free beer and I would be in heaven!


Monday, March 9, 2009

Simply Margaret...'nuff said

No one makes me laugh more than Margaret Cho...enjoy!!!


You lookin' at me?

Just in case there is someone out there who doesn't already know...I really likes me some hairy men's.
O, I know, that probably wasn't the first thing you noticed about this PIC and believe me, I've been told a thousand times: "Ulf, the dicks on your guys are always so HUGE, your such a size queen."
Truth be told, no not really. This is erotic fantasy art, not an attempt at making a photographic reproduction.
Everything about my art is exaggerated and yes it's intentional.
As for my personal dick size preference, let's just say, I've been with guys who were hung like the proverbial and not so proverbial horse. Sometimes it was fun, more times than not it wasn't.
The biggest problem I have with most guys with really big dicks, they know they have really big dicks and for some reason, knowing that, makes em friggin lazy ass lovers.
Truthfully, I'm more a top, but yeah, from time to time, I like being on the receiving end of a good hard pounding and just for the record, the best fuck I ever had came from an Irish guy with a very normal dick, but boi did he know how too use it.


Sunday, March 8, 2009

Gotta love MadTV?

Used condoms

I couldn't stop laughing at this Durex condom ad.



Omar and Derrik

Looking back, I've done several versions of this PIC, the first being a series I did back as a teenager.
Funny thing, in High school I started drawing on the covers of my notebooks, people started admiring the artwork and before long I was getting all sorts of request from others to "customize" theirs.
It has always been a source of amusement that a lot of these students were jocks and here I was drawing (amongst other things) nekkid mens on their notebooks and they in turn were carrying them to their various classes.
Gotta love the innocence of youth ; )