Thursday, August 25, 2011

U.S. Marines in Afghanistan ordered not to fart audibly

The U.S. Military is in agreement that successful nation-building involves showing respect for the people and the culture of the land. Marines are complying with recent orders as reported by The Military Times.

Abstaining from swearing is understandable, as is talk of politics. Religion is a hot topic of course, and while it may seem alien to Americans, so is talk of girls. The reasoning is that these topics could escalate into major disagreements - although there is a language barrier.

One thing that knows no barriers is well, farting around. Soldiers have been asked to lower the volume, stand downwind, whatever it takes. For some reason, this seems to be the most difficult obstacle to overcome. Afghans had expressed dismay at being exposed to such behavior, which leads one to ponder just how bad the situation was. Are our brave soldiers volatile gas bags who loudly explode to the glee and applause of other Americans? In all likelihood, yes. While some Americans complain that the expulsion of gas is virtually a 'sport' - it seems that it is not an international sport, and your cousin Jeb who lights his, will not have his moment of glory in the Olympics.

No comments: